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hi Im new Hi my name is Ryn, Im 21 from new york. I ride horses, I… - Your Safe Place

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hi Im new

Hi my name is Ryn, Im 21 from new york. I ride horses, I love to cook, I hostess at Uno's and Im going to school in the spring for culinary arts.
I dont even know how to begin talking about this. My thoughts are not very organized so please bear with me.
I have been dealing with anorexia and bulimia for about 4 years now. This spring semester I lost so much weight I got very weak and sick and ended up in the hospital. I didnt gain to much weight back because I continued restricting and purging just not as much. Than I became pregnant and i gained at least 10lbs. I lost the baby :'( and I returned to my awful eating habits. Tonight I barely ate but I purged anyway. I havent been able to stop myself it has gotten very bad this week. I laied on my bed tonight and debated in my head whether to do it or not and I did. I want to stop. My life is coming together now in just about every other aspect. I love my 2 jobs, I have a wonderful new boyfriend (been together a little over 2 months)everything is working out. I just cant stop restricting and purging. I fight with myself in my head and end up doing it anyway.
Well tonight I have decided that I have had enough. No more. Im asking for help. Please. It took so much for me to ask.. I even debated that. any advice is wonderful

Current Mood: scaredscared
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Date:November 10th, 2005 02:50 am (UTC)
This is couple of days late, but better late than never.
I think its really good that you decided to post this on LJ. You seem like you know what the problem is, but you don't know how to handle it and address.
And take it from me, dealing with these things on your own is really hard. Its nice to know that you have a boyfriend. I'm sure he is going to be a support for you.
It may also be a good idea to talk to a counseler. I don't know if you have insurance or anything like that, but this thing may take some time to resolve.
Let me know what you plan to do.
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